Creative turkeys

Bad practices to carve away
 
Some creative practices persist over the years, even though they’re anything but creative. In this article, we’re going to single out some turkeys (given this posting’s proximity to Thanksgiving) that really jar our preserves. The good news: Once you see these examples, presented as such, you’ll surely find them galling enough, too, to regard them as cautionary tales. In other words, you’ll consciously avoid them in the future, too. 
 
The definition of annoying
 
“Webster’s Dictionary defines ‘Quality’ as…” 
 
Oh goodness. Stop right there. This is a pointless time-waster. Don’t tell your audience what a word means. They know already. And the tacit message that they don’t—since you need to define the word for them—is insulting: “Hey, reader! You’re so stupid, you don’t know what ‘quality’ means. And I can’t define it well myself (I’m not smart, either), so I’ll copy-and-paste a definition from an online dictionary (I’m lazy and a plagiarist).” 
 
The pronunciation of annoying
 
But wait, there’s more! These typically get even worse. The cutesiest ones attempt to mimic the look of an actual dictionary entry, with the heavily-hyphenated phonemic transcription that, we guess, attempts to make it look “official.” Uggh. And not only that, they’ll often get it wrong! For heaven’s sake, if you’re going to insult the reader by telling them they don’t know how to pronounce a word they already know, at least condescend correctly!
 
So, continuing our example from above, it might go something like this: 
 
Quality. n. kwah-LIT-ee
 
—with lots of little accents and umlauts and you-name-it’s atop the letters. Note that we’ve been given the “part of speech,” too, with that little “n.”, for “noun.” Gee, thanks! How could we have gotten through the day without this helpful information? 
 
Note, too, that if you read that “pronunciation” aloud, you’ll actually mispronounce “quality”!
 
The takeaway: Whatever you had to say after that cute “definition” will never get read. You lost the reader from the get-go. That’s a big, fat fail. 
 
“Slide-show creative”
 
We’ve seen ad agencies actually make TV spots for clients that are little more than an announcer track with either still or video images laid directly atop it, in flawless, anal sync with what the announcer is saying. This makes a PowerPoint preso exciting by contrast. We call this egregious practice “slide-show creative,” because it reminds us of being trapped in someone’s smoke-filled 1960s living room as they click their Kodak Carousel slide projector through each blurry picture of their latest vacation. 
 
Give your audience more credit than that. They can—and daily do—make the leap between one thing that’s being said, and another that’s being shown. That’s called synergy. Use it to your advantage. 
 
And this is for more than just TV spots, although that’s still a valid example. Whenever you’re marrying more than one medium, play them off each other. Interweave different aspects of the same content. The resulting tapestry will be far richer—and more memorable and impactful—than any “slide show.” 
 
The one-note song
 
As humans, we’re wired to thrive on contrast and variety. You want a three-course meal, with something different for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You don’t want a bowl of the same exact thing, every single time (think: “dog food”). 
 
The same thing applies to creative—in all media. A radio spot that screams at you for 60 seconds straight will only motivate the listener in one way: They’ll change the station. Just as a joke builds to its punch-line, your radio spot should be orchestrated dramatically. You can have loud stuff in there, sure, but there is no “loud” without soft, just as there is no “shadow” without “light.” So this advice applies to visuals, audio, composition, copywriting… pretty much everything. It’s hard enough to hone your business message in the first place; don’t stumble when it’s time to deliver it. 
 
Speaking of screaming, you know to avoid ALL CAPS IN THE WRONG CONTEXT, RIGHT? Ouch. 
 
A final disclaimer
 
Our disclaimer is this: Avoid disclaimers! “Oh,” you might say, “that’s a legal consideration, not a copywriting consideration.” 
 
We beg to differ. As soon as your reader sees that asterisk, their guard goes up. They’re on the defensive. Transform the disclaimer copy into body copy. Especially for stuff that’s easy to transform thus. Here’s an example from the past several years: Over-the-counter (OTC) pharmaceutical products used to make claims about their efficacy—and then disclaim it with an asterisk. So—quick!—you look at the bottom of the ad, and there’s the disclaimer: “Use as directed,” with FDA fingerprints all over it. 
 
In a word, huh? Why think of that as a negative—something to hide? The pharma companies, and their ad agencies, eventually figured this out; the new copy would read (whether in print or as, say, a TV voiceover), “When used as directed, this product cures all ailments…” What’s so scary about that? 
 
Need help avoiding that next creative turkey? Contact us today. You’ll give thanks that you did. 

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